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7 Things to Discuss Before Marriage

Updated: Feb 11


Marriages today are crumbling at a high rate — not because we no longer get along, but because we have lost sight of the blessing tied to a biblical marriage. Before even thinking about getting married, one point that you need to consider is about your devotion and how you are going to spend time on your devotion to your partner?


As Christians, we know the value of daily devotions. We see great men and women of God who set aside time every morning to meditate on God’s Word, spend time in His presence and commune with Him through prayer. One way to strengthen your marriage is to study the Bible together. To start, you can read your devotions together, but as you know it’s going to be difficult because whether you like it or not you will experience busyness and conflicts as you go through this time as a couple together, that’s the reason why devotion is important, in fact, it is critical in the relationship because it’s going to be the foundation of your marriage.


Here are 7 things you need to discuss before marriage.


1. As an engaged couple or newlywed, it’s a big plus knowing the expectations your spouse has for your marriage. Because it will help you communicate effectively with each other, merge your lives as a married couple, and learn how to meet each other’s needs. Also, it will show you things you have different mindsets, perspectives, or views about. Marriage is about a million different compromises and things that you will never think to ask will come up. Over time, meaningful communication and quality time together can return if the couple works each day to make it happen, but both partners need to make a commitment.


2. Accepting the fact that everything in life changes, including marriage – can help you focus on reality and what the possibilities are for you both. Letting go of what was and working toward what can be is the answer to rebuilding something beautiful. The stronger you are together, the stronger you will be as individuals. This not only requires time; it requires an authentic commitment. Marriage makes two individuals, even stronger as one.


3. Marriage is a partnership that can take many different forms depending on the emotional needs of the people in it. The important thing is to articulate and define how you and your soon-to-be spouse sees your marriage. Will it be drawn along traditional lines, with one partner focused on finances and the other on running the household, even if you’re both working? Being clear about your own needs, your desires for intimacy, for autonomy, for support must precede the talk.


4. One of the biggest things married couples fight about, and one of the most common sources of stress and tension, is finances. Too many couples get caught in the trap of financial stress and struggle because they didn’t take the time to discuss the finances. How do you feel about combining money? What are your spending habits? Do you have any debt and how are you going to pay it off? What are your views on saving, tithing, and giving? Getting on the same page when it comes to money will save you so much strain as you soon become one.


5. Arguments are inevitable, but it’s how you can both handle them that determines whether you’ll get through them. As a couple more likely you’re going to disagree about how to run the house, chores, who cleans the bathroom, but those are the kinds of things that you can settle if you work on your communication style. You have to be aware of the expectations you’re bringing into the marriage. While the thought of spending the rest of your life with someone you love is heart-warming, know that you won’t always feel “in love” during your marriage.


6. People change gradually. It only feels like they change quite suddenly when they don’t continually talk. If your spouse is slowly becoming depressed or dissatisfied, it shouldn’t take you by surprise. You should know about all the stages, through constant talk. There should be many, many opportunities for intervention. From petty things like maintaining a clean house to major decisions about finances and raising children, there will always be disagreements and fights that are bound to happen.


7. You and your significant other should agree on fundamental topics like finances even though they’re not always fun or easy to discuss. Money may not be on your mind when you’re in your 20s, but it’s crucial to have this discussion ahead of time so you’re not finding yourself in situations down the road that could do damage to your marriage in the future and that’s the reason why this topic should be crucial before taking any further step on your relationship like marriage.


Peace and blessings!

~Marriage Of God

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